May 14, 2017 - Uncategorized    No Comments

Sunday 5/14/17 Running Scared

BP and BS are stable.

I’ve got a meeting tomorrow afternoon with the bosses.

They’re acting strange. They have two key people coming over at 10:00am, me at 1:00pm and two more key people at 5:00pm. What the fuck are they up to???

The only problem I have is that at 65, with a random skill set, I’m going to have a hard time finding another job, and I can’t collect social security until November. Well, I can collect, but it will be about $300 a month less than if I can just hang on a little longer.

Speaking of social security, how the fuck does anyone live on $1100 dollars a month? My house is paid off and I can’t figure out how to get by, unless I become a hermit and never go out, and never spend a dime more than I absolutely have to.

I’m too damn old to start running scared, but I am. When I was twenty something I didn’t worry about anything, now I can feel the end creeping up and I’m totally unprepared.

Just how in the hell did I manage to get this old? And how am I supposed to deal with it? I’ve got no one to take care of me when I can’t take care of myself, and I can’t afford to pay someone.

I’m not ready to give up, but I can feel that time closing in.

It sucks to realize that you’re mortal and nobody lives forever. I just hope I die before Alzheimers or something worse gets me.

May 12, 2017 - Uncategorized    No Comments

Friday 5/12/17

BP = same
Blood sugar = 145

Had a cup of coffee so no headache.

I bought a Hogue grip for my m&p Shield 45, and fucked up installing it.
torn Hogue grip
I know it’s blurry but you can see the big rip I caused when I got in a hurry.

The instructions say push don’t pull and be patient. Obviously they weren’t meant to apply to me.

I fought with the godawful little bastards for nearly 20 minutes before I lost my temper. Ordered another pair, maybe this time the rubber won’t win.

Sitting at work inventing things to do so I don’t have to do what I’m supposed to be doing.

I guess I’ve stalled as long as I can, so there’s nothing for it but to get up and get it done.

May 11, 2017 - Uncategorized    No Comments

Thursday 05/11/17

BP = not bad but diastolic is still too high – 92
Blood sugar = 160

Gave up caffeine again. Now waiting for my head to explode.

Heartburn is giving me trouble. Flap in top of stomach has never been right, but things like bananas will sometimes -like today- cause extra acid.

I’m at work and I can feel a migraine coming on. I haven’t had one of those in many years. Took my meds and I’m trying to sit quietly until they kick in, but people are annoying me with incredibly trivial, stupid, shit.

Put my office phone on do not disturb, but boss called me on my cell because one of those losers called to whine that I wasn’t answering my phone.

I explained why, but got the lecture about working together anyway. I suggested that they quit hiring people who rode the short bus. It didn’t sit well, but I’m trying to get something done in spite of wanting to puke, so I don’t care. If they want miss congeniality the beauty pageant is down the road.

Brain is such a mess that had to look up how to spell “beauty.”

I’m writing this hoping my focus will improve, but even if it does it’s going to be a long motherfucker of a day. But I’m going to work until I know I’m fucking things up too bad, then I’m going to take some more meds and hide in the bosses office with the lights off and the door locked.

FUCK IT.

May 7, 2017 - Uncategorized    No Comments

Sunday 05/07/2017

BP = 120/76 –One hour after taking my meds and with no caffeine earlier in the day.
Blood sugar = 147 –No food for 6 hours.

I’ve been trying to eat a low salt/low fat diet.

But this was breakfast.

A 7-11 hotdog with chili, cheese and jalapenos.

I said I was trying, I never said I was succeeding.

Speaking of low fat. Have you ever seen non-fat half and half?
picture of non-fat half and half
I bought some by accident. I use half and half in cooking and I wanted some leek potato soup. It’s a good thing I tasted it before I used it. The flavor reminds me of that sweet taste you get from non-fat, dry, milk.

I cannot imagine how anyone would believe that non-fat half and half is even possible, but they sell it.

I’m quite certain that there are people that use and enjoy it, but my name will never be on that list. I poured it down the sink.

From an article by Dr. Andrew Weil in the Huffington Post:

In the U.S., half-and-half is typically half milk and half cream and contains about 12 percent fat, so how can such a product be rendered fat-free? Answer: by replacing butterfat (a mostly saturated fat) with corn syrup and adding chemicals and thickeners to simulate fat’s texture and mouth-feel. The ingredients list: skim milk, corn syrup, cream (this is accompanied by a footnote reassuring the consumer that the cream adds “a trivial amount of fat” — I assume because the product contains a trivial amount of cream) and “less than 0.5 percent of the following: Carrageenan, Sodium Citrate, Dipotassium Phosphate, Mono and Diglycerides, Vitamin A Palmitate, Color Added (Ingredient not in regular half-and-half).”

When it comes to food, you have to watch your out for your own self because, between people believing shaky science, and greedy corporations, I figure we’re pretty well screwed.

May 6, 2017 - Uncategorized    No Comments

Saturday 5/06/17

My BP = 123/88 -Pretty good, but the diastolic is still running too close to 90, which is about where my headaches start.
Blood sugar = 145


This was living in a glass of water I had left out too long. –It looks cool, but not in something I’m going to drink.

This was breakfast. Yummy, no?
Raw oats in white bowl with measuring cup
oatmeal in water in white bowl
One part oatmeal to two parts water, nuke on high for four minutes (in my ancient microwave).

If it’s so good for you, why am I jonesing after a huge plate of biscuits and gravy? Which begs the question, If I’m eating right, why do I crave things that are bad for me?

Someone else got the madness beckons blog. That’s a shame, I could have had so much fun with it.

The man is a pawnbroker so I doubt it’s going to be any fun, but time will tell. So far he’s only complained fairly mildly about one customer with a wild child.